In a previous post, I gave my review of the “Learned Optimism” book by Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology. I explained what learned optimism is, and I recommend that you go to the review so you can familiarize yourself with the concept and what’s involved in applying it to your life.
This post is about how to apply learned optimism to your life, and to help with that, here is a sample Disputation Record:
Disputation Record #1 (of 5)
Adversity: I’m trying to book flights for returning to Canada. I’m used to things like this being simple and working on the first try. I picked out which company to go with. It’s been showing one price consistently through the process, then when I have to select a payment method, the price changes to a larger amount. Not only that, it’s still showing the original, lower price, too. What the glitch?
Belief: Okay, so I don’t know what to trust here. Two prices are showing. Which one will I be charged? I don’t think I should go any further with this company.
Consequences: I don’t go any further. The glitch cost that company a possible sale.
Disputation: That’s the right move to make. There are other options to look at.
Energization: The search continues. On to the next one…
Disputation Record #2 (of 5)
Adversity: I’m trying again to book flights for returning to Canada. I picked another company to go with. I make it further this time. I submit the payment information, and the payment was processing. Then a security requirement came up. I’m supposed to get a text message on my Canadian phone number and then put in the code that I receive on the text message. Only thing is my Canadian phone number is disconnected while I’m out of Canada, so I won’t be able to get the text.
Belief: I don’t think this option is going to work out either.
Consequences: I click Exit. The Verified by Visa requirement shows up again. I check to see if I can add my Portuguese phone number to my Visa. I can’t. I click Exit again on Verified by Visa. Nothing has changed since the last time it showed up. I still don’t have my Canadian phone number currently connected.
Disputation: I’ve got to keep going. I’ll have to call my credit card company to see if they can remove the Verified by Visa requirement.
Energization: It helps that I know what to do next.
Disputation Record #3 (of 5)
Adversity: I called my credit card company. They removed the Verified by Visa requirement for 24 hours. I make it all the way through this time. I reserve the flights for returning to Canada. A little while later, I receive an e-mail telling me that the reservation was cancelled and that I’ll receive a full refund within 3 – 5 business days.
Belief: What’s going on? Why is it this difficult to book flights? Alright, so a technical error resulted in the reservation being cancelled. That’s not my fault, and now I know not to try this company again.
Consequences: I’m narrowing down the options for which company to book flights through.
Disputation: I still have other companies to try. Keep going.
Energization: The next one has to work. I do feel energized.
Disputation Record #4 (of 5)
Adversity: Another company. Again, it’s an online travel agency. Just like the other ones have been. I make it all the way through. I reserve the flights for returning to Canada. And yep, a little while later, I receive an e-mail telling me that the reservation was cancelled because of a technical error and that I’ll receive a full refund within 3 – 5 business days.
Belief: Hmm. Again. Really? I know what to do next. This is sure frustrating though. I haven’t had to go through this much trouble before to book flights. The process used to be so smooth. I will keep on being patient. At least as much as I can be. I know I’m capable of that.
Consequences: I’m done trying to book flights back to Canada through online travel agencies. Both reservation cancellation e-mails have told me to book directly with the airlines, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Disputation: I have now gone through all of the online travel agencies that I had in mind. None of them have worked out. Now I know to only book directly with the airlines. Come to think of it, that’s what I used to do, and it always worked out before. So I know it’s going to work out this time, too.
Energization: I’m excited. I know I’m getting closer to having my desired result. Okay, I’m going to the airport this time. Maybe I can get the flights booked directly at an airline desk.
Disputation Record #5 (of 5)
Adversity: I went to the airport. I called my credit card company to make sure that my previous attempts to book flights haven’t messed anything up. They haven’t. I can try at least one more time. Next,I tried to book flights directly with an airline on their website. I tried multiple payment options. One of them didn’t load. The other one didn’t go through. Technical error again. Even directly on an airline website.
Belief: Ha ha ha ha ha! I have to laugh. At least on the inside. This is ridiculous. It can seem like I’m not supposed to be going back to Canada yet. Is that what this is? Is this a sign that I’m supposed to apply for the resident permit so I can stay in Portugal? If this next effort doesn’t work, then yes, I’m supposed to stay in Portugal.
Consequences: I’m done trying to book flights online this time. I can admit that my failed options so far are simply leading me where to go next. I’m ready to go to an airline desk.
Disputation: Wow, I actually have to go in person to book flights. Technology does have its limits. Either I’m going to end up with a successful reservation for flights in a few minutes, or I’ll know that I’m being given a clear indicator that it just isn’t in the cards for me to be back in Canada yet.
Energization: This is it. Down to the last option. This option will work. I know it will.
What happened next?
I went to an airline desk at the airport, and my efforts paid off. I was finally successful in getting flights booked. No cancellation either. I get to go back to Canada later this month. I’ve been away for almost 3 months. Being back is gonna take some getting used to.
I’m sure you’re facing some challenges in your life that require perseverance to work through. Learned optimism is a tool that you can use to help you keep going. If you keep your own Disputation Record, that can help you build up your perseverance so you meet your challenges and conquer them in the arena of life.
Tell me about what struggles you’ve overcome. How has learned optimism helped you be stronger? Let me know in the comments section below.
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Until next time,