A Message for Men from a Son

Imagine this scenario. You’re newly married, and you’ve accidentally gotten your wife pregnant. The only thing is that you never discussed beforehand if you ever wanted to be parents.

So, What Do You Do?

You haven’t had a vasectomy. You didn’t use a condom or pull out in time. You also didn’t use any other birth control methods for men. It’s on you. You’re the man. You’re the one who got your wife pregnant. She couldn’t have gotten pregnant without you.

Do you accept the consequences of your actions and take on the role of a responsible father? Or do you tell your wife about herbs she can take to cause a miscarriage?

If you’re my dad, you choose the second option. That doesn’t go well. Your wife starts sleeping in a different room than you. And soon after, she moves far away back to her hometown. You never see her again.

Your son is born, and you never meet him. Your wife divorces you. And the court grants sole custody and access to your son to your ex-wife.

You are required to pay child support, but you want to ensure the child is yours. The paternity test comes back positive. You are the child’s father, and you go on to pay child support faithfully every month until your son turns 18. And then you die two months after your son’s 18th birthday as if you no longer had a reason to live.

Your son doesn’t find out about your death until many years later. Your absence has shaped his entire life.

Split seconds lost lead to lifetimes of consequence — your lifetime and now your son’s lifetime.

That Brings Us to Today…

One driving force of my life is seeing what I can do to keep men from experiencing what my dad and I have gone through.

That’s why I’m writing my upcoming book series, Choose Freely.

Like my dad, I also got married and divorced. Unlike my dad, I’ve applied VOCANS: The 6 Birth Control Methods for Men. VOCANS is an acronym I came up with that stands for Vasectomy, Outercourse, Condoms, Abstinence, Non-Ejaculation, and Spilling.

A great thing about these methods is that they work whether you’re child-free by choice or whether you do want to be a dad.

Another thing I’ve discovered while writing my books is how many types of children there are besides biological children. There are certainly more types than I realized, which expands the possibilities for you if you want to be a dad.

Some of the types of children include:
• biological children;
• stepchildren;
• adopted children;
• foster children; and
• surrogate children.

There are more types of children than that. Still, these examples are enough to get the idea that you are not limited to having biological children only or even having any biological children.

Without having your own biological children, you could be freed up to help take care of the countless children we already have on this planet who aren’t being kept safe, provided for, or cared for well enough in various ways. You could be the dad they need – if you’re willing to be a dad.

Think of It This Way.

My dad paid $200.00 a month in child support until I was 18. That might not sound like much these days, but that was many years ago, and the amount of child support depends on the father’s income.

$200.00 a month equals $2,400.00 a year. $2,400.00 a year for 18 years equals $43,200.00.

$43,200.00! Yes, that’s spread out over 18 years, but consider how much savings you would have if you didn’t get any women pregnant. That’s at least $43,200.00 you could apply to who knows what else.

If you’re child-free by choice, that’s at least $43,200.00 you could use for your improvement. Perhaps that would help you set up a lasting legacy to affect many people for good.

Or if you want to be a dad, then that’s at least $43,200.00 you could use to help raise, take care of, protect, and provide for any of the other types of children there are, which includes:
• stepchildren;
• adopted children;
• foster children; and
• surrogate children.

I’ve worked in the legal services industry for many years and seen child support much higher than $200.00 a month. For example, some fathers have had to pay $2,000.00 a month for child support. That’s $24,000.00 a year in child support!

$24,000.00 a year for 18 years equals $432,000.00… And that’s not even factoring in paying child support until the child or children have completed post-secondary education. If you’ve got a child training to be a doctor, isn’t that up to another 10 years of paying child support?

Now you see how being a father, especially a biological father, can be so expensive. And that’s without getting into the other high costs of having children.

What Are Some of Those High Costs?

How about the biggest cost of them all to start with?

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how great of a father you are, your child or children might resent you, blame you, hate you, block you out of their lives, disappoint you, disrespect you, steal from you, and all around make your life a torturous existence. And that’s if they get to be in your life in the first place.

If you’re like my dad, you might never meet your children. That’s a high cost all on its own.

Another high cost of having children includes going through breakups for any number of reasons, including:
• You and the woman disagree about having or not having children;
• the financial strain of raising children taking a relationship past the breaking point;
• breaking up because of the tragic death of a child; and
• breaking up because of disagreements about how to raise children.

Life isn’t easy when you’re raising children. You may or may not experience the high costs of:
• divorce;
• custody and access;
• broken families;
• heartbreak;
• the financial cost;
• the relationship cost;
• the emotional cost;
• being taken for granted;
• being treated like a bank machine;
• the loss of freedom; and
• the lower quality of life.

It’s Not Too Late for You.

You can still live on your terms. You can learn and apply VOCANS: The 6 Birth Control Methods for Men. As a reminder, VOCANS stands for Vasectomy, Outercourse, Condoms, Abstinence, Non-Ejaculation, and Spilling.

I’ve applied all the methods, which have been 100% effective for me. Apply them correctly, and they could also be 100% effective for you. The 6 Birth Control Methods for Men can save you money, give you peace of mind, and allow you to build the life of your dreams.

You can be child-free by choice, or you can be a dad for any of the many different types of children. Either way, birth control for men plays a factor in both paths.

Are you committed to having freedom and living life on your terms?

You are greater than you think, stronger than you know, and more powerful than you realize.

Thank you for reading. Here is what else you can do:

  • Add any questions or comments you have in the comments section below;
  • Subscribe so you can be notified by e-mail when I add another post on this website; and
  • Share this post, including on social media.

James Barnett

Please follow and like us: