My Parents Got Together Even If It Made No Sense

I’ve heard of couples who have only stayed together for the sake of their children. My parents were not one of those couples.

I was the only child that my parents had together. If my dad had his way, I wouldn’t have been born. So, faced with the choice of no husband or no child, my mom chose the no husband option. I acknowledge my mom for the strength that it took to make the right choice and to live up to that choice every day since. It can be tough to write about this subject since it has determined the shape and the course of my entire life, as well as whether or not I would even have been born.

I acknowledge my parents for what each of them went through and for what each of them faced during their time together.

I’ve seen such a wide variety of relationships. There are couples who have stayed together for decades until they die. There are couples who stay together for a period of time until they break up. And there’s everything in between as well. I spent years working in family law, so I got to see countless cases of break ups. It can get very messy and drag on for years.

I’ve seen the effects of what people go through in the break up process. It certainly isn’t fun. Not by any means. Two people used to have such positive feelings for each other, and then their whole world turns upside down. Kindness turns into viciousness. Love becomes hatred or indifference.

My parents got divorced. So did I. My parents got together even if it made no sense. The lyrics below are an effort to summarize their relationship and to make peace with the fallout.

“My Parents” lyrics / poem by James Barnett

So my parents met in Toronto
Back in 1983
They were both oh so lonely
Dad kept asking women out
They all told him “No”
He kept asking different women
And then he met my mom
She was the one who said “Yes”

My parents got together
Even if it made no sense
They were two total strangers
And that’s the way they left
Their relationship was short-lived
It wasn’t meant to last
Looks like the only reason
For their time together
Was so there would be me

Mom and Dad got married
Several months after they met
The ceremony was in my mom’s home town
Oh, those two looked happy together
In photos I eventually saw
Maybe it wasn’t entirely bad
But who knows
I only got my mom’s version of events
I”ll never get to find out from my dad

My parents got together
Even if it made no sense
They were two total strangers
And that’s the way they left
Their relationship was short-lived
It wasn’t meant to last
Looks like the only reason
For their time together
Was so there would be me

My parents moved to Victoria, BC
That’s where my mom got pregnant with me
My dad didn’t want children
And that was a sticking point
My mom slept in a separate room
Until she moved away
To return to her home town in Ontario

My parents got together
Even if it made no sense
They were two total strangers
And that’s the way they left
Their relationship was short-lived
It wasn’t meant to last
Looks like the only reason
For their time together
Was so there would be me

Mom and Dad were together
For less than one year
Separated before my birth
And divorced some time after
My mom had sole custody of me
And my dad had no access
He died when I was eighteen
Oh, Dad, I never knew you
Oh, Mom, you’ve done the best you can
I’m the legacy for both of you
Thank you for being together
And for giving me life
I’ll be who I can to be true to myself
I raise a glass to both of you
This is a toast to my parents
I love and respect you, Mom and Dad
May your hearts ever be glad

My parents got together
Even if it made no sense
They were two total strangers
And that’s the way they left
Their relationship was short-lived
It wasn’t meant to last
Looks like the only reason
For their time together
Was so there would be me
Was so there would be me

Conclusion

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Until next time,

James Barnett