What I Learned From When I Was In Over My Head and Bouncing Off the Bottom

Dear Friend,

Have you ever been in a situation where you were forced to get clear and take immediate action?

Yes, and probably more than you realize, too. You likely don’t give yourself the credit that you deserve. You’ve been backed into a corner before. You could have given up, but you didn’t. Giving up would have meant automatic defeat and maybe even death.

Instead, you came up with the solution and acted quickly. Remember those times in your life as I tell you about what I learned from when I was in over my head and bouncing off the bottom.

Setting the Scene: The Danger of Familiarity

I was 18. I’d been to the camp before and didn’t see any danger. I was safe all the other times I’d been there. I’d walked the trails in the dark. It was one of the places where I’d grown up. I’d been there every year during summer vacation for almost as long as I could remember, perhaps since I was 4.

One of the other boys at camp punched my mouth when I was 5 or 6. I don’t remember doing anything to provoke him. That’s one of the only times I’ve ever swallowed a tooth. I still had some baby teeth back then. My mouth was bleeding. But I knew things were okay. The tooth was loose anyway and needed to go. I felt alive.

I have many other memories of that camp and the lake there, too.

I helped out in the kitchen and volunteered in other ways. I sprayed a Batman symbol on the outside of a cabin with shaving gel, which was still there years later. It was a bit reckless and the only time I’ve ever been a graffiti artist, but again I felt alive.

I played sports there. I endured the weather, the heat, and the rain. And I’d gotten to spend at least a week there at a time.

I graduated from high school the year before and was now working a job in retail. I remembered what had happened the year before. I got added in for random evening shifts during the week that I would have been at camp.

This time, I knew better and booked a week of vacation off so I could be at camp uninterrupted.

I was looking forward to it. I could be out of town and at a place I had come to enjoy and look forward to being at every year.

I wasn’t in the clearest headspace that day at camp. I had gotten too comfortable and made a mistake that could have killed me.

Jumping Off the Deep End: In Over My Head

I wasn’t a great swimmer or even a good one. I took swimming lessons in elementary school and didn’t get past the second or third level. I couldn’t relax enough to float. I had to be in shallow water where I could stand up and still have my head above water.

I could walk in the water well enough. It’s not that I couldn’t swim at all. I could do various strokes, but my execution was lacking. Most of my effort was spent trying to stay afloat instead of making movement in the water. It got so discouraging that I mainly stayed out of the water.

The camp was at a lake. I’d been in the lake for most of the years that I’d been there. The only time I had a life jacket on in all those years there was one time when I got to do something similar to water skiing. Other than that, I’d been in parts where the water was shallow enough for me to stand up and have my head above water.

I’d been careful enough, even with the floating platform. I hadn’t gone off the deep end before. I knew better. But not this time. It’s amazing how a few seconds can throw things off so much.

I thought the water would be shallow enough, even on the side of the floating platform I hadn’t been off of before. The floating platform was out further than it had been before. I didn’t think that mattered. And I thought the bottom of the lake got deeper gradually enough.

I wouldn’t have known how deep the water was if I had dived in. But I didn’t dive in. I jumped in. I jumped far and sank right to the bottom.

I noticed immediately that I was in over my head by quite a lot and that I was facing away from the nearest shore. I’d made an error in judgment and was at a part of the lake where there was a big, sudden drop. The bottom dropped out. In all my years there, I wasn’t as familiar with the lake as I thought.

What would I do? Could I cry for help? I’d have to get to the surface first. And if I could do that, I could get myself out of the situation faster than anyone else could get to me. This was one time when it was faster to apply self-reliance. I got myself into the situation and could get myself out of it, too.

I wouldn’t have been at risk if I was a good swimmer. But that option wasn’t available, so I had to do something else. Thankfully, the panic wasn’t crippling. And I quickly came up with a plan to save myself.

Making the Comeback: Bouncing Off the Bottom

I remembered that my strength with being in the water was walking, not swimming. I knew that I wouldn’t save myself by swimming. I had to walk my way back to shore.

My plan was simple. I made my choice and took immediate action. If I didn’t take those quite literal steps, I might’ve otherwise been frozen with fear. The right action at the right time is an excellent antidote for fear.

At the bottom of the lake, I turned back toward the nearest shore and started walking.

I didn’t have much air left, so I crouched and leaped toward the surface. It worked. I got my head above water and grabbed my next breath. I held it and sank back to the bottom. Took some more steps. Bounced back to the surface. Grabbed another breath. Sank to the bottom. Took more steps. Bounced off the bottom.

I was determined to repeat all that as many times as necessary to reach the shallow water. I walked, leaped, breathed, and kept going. I knew exactly what to do and did it. I stayed calm enough because I had a solution to focus on.

Even if it was only one or two steps at a time, it was still progress. I saw my way out of my mistake. I focused on my strength with walking and ignored my weakness with swimming. Walk. Leap. Breathe. Repeat. Keep repeating.

I knew I had a winning formula. I felt silly for being in such a situation, but at the same time, it was exciting. I didn’t intentionally put myself at risk. It was an honest mistake, and the danger gave me a rush. It ended up being enjoyable.

I made it back to the shallow water, back to safety with my head above water and feet on the bottom of the lake.

I breathed uninterrupted and stayed in one spot without any risk. I relaxed and was relieved that my plan worked.

I could’ve died, and I felt so alive.

And I must’ve made it all look smooth as if I had done all that on purpose. I saw those who were on shore, the other families who were at the camp. None of them were panicked. From what I could tell, none of them noticed what I had just been through.

I could’ve drowned. And nobody else knew. It got me thinking that I’ve kept to myself too much. I haven’t reached out as much as I could have. I haven’t helped others as much as I could have.

I felt like more of a stranger than ever. Where were those bonding times with others? I graduated high school, and my connections seemed to be gone. Or had we drifted apart so gradually that I didn’t notice?

And who knows if I had the same three questions flash before my mind like Brendon Burchard did when he was 19…

“Did I really live? Did I really love? Did I really matter?”

Dealing with the Aftermath: What Have I Learned

That was my last time in that lake and at that camp. It wasn’t fun anymore. Time to get back to work and stay there. Goodbye, childhood camp. Goodbye, childhood lake. Thanks for the memories. It was nice while it lasted.

The experience shook me. I still remember it vividly, even though it happened 16 years ago in August.

That was one occasion where either I could give up and die or take some simple actions and apply them repeatedly until I was safe.

I’ve learned that there isn’t any single decisive action that makes all the difference. It’s the combination of actions that makes all the difference. Life is filled much more with seemingly unimportant moments than the more obvious life-or-death situations. It’s up to me to be more aware that each moment contains the seeds for change, growth, and transformation. It’s up to me to see that and do something about it.

Conclusion

When have you come up with a solution and acted quickly?

Likely more times than you realize. It doesn’t have to be when your or somebody else’s life was at stake. It could’ve been something much more subtle.

It might’ve been something where you made a mistake and ended up in an undesirable situation. But you saw the way out and took it. You took the necessary action and emerged stronger than ever, whether or not you realized it at the time.

What looked like a mistake may be exactly what needed to happen so that you would reveal who you are.

You have hidden strengths within you. And when you focus on those, you can achieve wonders. You can save your own life and other’s lives. You can transform the world, one life at a time.

You can do it if you believe you can and if you act based on that belief. I’m cheering for you.

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Until next time,

James Barnett